if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
