I feel like abortions should bother me more
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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