Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
