i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
