he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize