There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
