margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Houston, we have a blender
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
