Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Randomize