You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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