This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
