I want to have your abortion
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
