weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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