she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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