As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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