Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize