go do what you do best...puke behind churches
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
