I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Couch. On fire.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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