You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
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I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
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Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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