He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
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NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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