So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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