this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
