Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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