Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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