Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
