I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
