Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
