I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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