Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
