guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
