Capitaan dildo arrescate!
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
