I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
