Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp...herpes.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
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