I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
