also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
