I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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