halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Church boner. Awkwardddd
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize