Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
