omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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