I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
