well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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