Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
