Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Buhtt sex?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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