What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
