Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize