No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
