Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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