listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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