I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
