she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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