if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
