Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize