I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
