so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize