And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Actions speak louder than pants.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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