i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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