You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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